I’m learning to ask for help a little more firmly, now. Continue reading
I guess you could say this entry is almost a direct follow up to my post two weeks ago; Depression is Hard
I don’t believe in God, but the universe seems to be screaming at me.
On July 6th, I lost my friend Greg Potocky to suicide.
I’m beginning to realize his death haunts me so deeply because I had JUST been contemplating the same, a mere week before. To be honest his death still doesn’t feel real. Shock or denial; I still can’t believe he’s really gone.
The ones you leave behind hurt the most. But pain blinds you; you can’t help but end up destroying yourself. That’s all you can focus on, because the hurt won’t stop.
I had begun to tread back into a semi “normal” life, slowly, lightly. Nightmares aside, I could feel myself relaxing ever so slightly. Then reality smacked me in the face, again. Life has a strange way of leaving you breathless, but this breathless isn’t the good kind of breathless. It’s the punch to the gut-pain heats your lungs-you can only gasp for oxygen, kind of breathless.
I made a video in his memory... I believe everyone should know his name and know who he was. Amazing, talented, charismatic, sweet, hilarious, nerdy, goofy, strong; a comedian, actor, writer and director.
“The person you love isn’t here to live his life anymore- that means you have to live your life twice as hard, for him.”
I will live my life twice as hard, for you.
Please go visit Greg’s channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/CockyPotocky
Donations to BC Mental Health in Greg’s memory is greatly appreciated: https://www.bcmhf.ca/donation
Rest in Peace, friend.
I’ve suddenly found myself jumping back into a “normal life” with both feet. It hurts more than I expected. Continue reading
Beyond stating the obvious. But I’m feeling the weight dragging me down again.
That’s all it took. I missed one pill and I nearly spiralled out of control and into the dark arms of misery.